The Holy Temple

Saturday was a fantastic day, a day I thought I would have to wait a lot longer for. Braden and I went through the Temple and received our endowments. It was amazing to be there with him and to finally be able to do something I've wanted to do for so long.

As mentioned previously the last three and a half years haven't been the easiest. I've had to rely on my Heavenly Father for strength to survive this ordeal and to make it through the typical struggles that come during the early adult years. By relying on Him I was able to come to know him very well. During my sophomore year of college my roommate KaeDee taught Temple Prep in our ward. I began attending to support her and soon discovered that I had a very strong desire to go through the Temple and wanted to right then. I prayed and kept preparing and was on the verge of discussing it with my Bishop when I was prompted to wait. I was heartbroken. Over the last three years I have continued to attend Temple prep, hoping to get as much of the Temple as possible. Every time I checked a customer out at Lowe's and saw the gold recommend in their wallet it almost brought me to tears. Every time an institute teacher asked who was endowed and I couldn't raise my hand I'd get sad again. I so wanted to take this next step and get to know my Heavenly Father and His gospel better. Back when I received the answer to wait I thought that when Braden went through I would reconsider it again, and that felt right, and before I knew it that time had come.

Again, I started really pondering and praying about it. I went and talked to my bishop which was a little scary since a lot of girls don't just go through to go through.  He said he would pray about it and that I should continue to attend Temple Prep. Then......he got released. So I had to gather my courage again and go to my new bishop. May I just bear testimony of the mantle Bishop's have and the inspiration they receive? It became obvious very quickly that the Bishop was able to look deep inside me and know my desire was sincere and honest, even from our first meeting. Being a little young in their eyes my bishop and stake president were both a little hesitant, but once again, after meeting with them I truly felt they understood me and more importantly that my Savior was telling me through them that he supported my decision. I will never forget the walk out of the stake center holding my completely filled out gold recommend. My time had come, I was going through the Temple!

Saturday was nerve wracking and as everyone says very different. It didn't help that about every Temple worker asked me if I was Braden's fiance or where I was going to serve my mission. But I was so happy to be there and to make covenants with my Heavenly Father. The gospel is true and I can't wait to return to the Temple again and again to continue to learn all that my Heavenly Father desires me to. It was amazing to be there with my family and I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to go frequently with Braden until he leaves for his mission. I love the Temple, I love this gospel, I love my Heavenly Father and His plan for all of us. We are all so very blessed!

Getting Down To Business! (To Defeat The HUNS!)

Where to start. The first month of school is over! Most of my kids have become adjusted to coming to school everyday and are doing much better, as am I. :) The tantrums have decreased, but they're preschoolers so they will never go away completely. My kiddos are adorable. I love when you can see that they start to get attached to you. One of my little boys told me he loved me the other day, and many of them seek my attention/approval which can be endearing, or annoying depending on how much attention they want. It's just cool when you can see they value you and want to make you happy. It shows I am meaningful to them, which is what you strive for as a teacher!

I've come to realize that I was in shock for all of September. There has been a lot of trial and error in regards to getting our classroom set up and running and I've been focused on that. The other day it just hit me hard how much work I have cut out for me. I have a lot of interesting kids on my caseload. Some have behavior issues, some are extremely low cognitively, others have no language skills whatsoever and it is extremely tiring to work with them for two and half hours because even the simple things can take forever. It's overwhelming to say the least! I wish I could go back to my preschool practicum class and just talk about the issues we have in the classroom together. That was so beneficial and I miss it. It's just scary! Here I've worked so hard to do this thing I love so much, and now here I am and I'm terrified of failing. These parents drop their kids off with me everyday in hopes that I can help them succeed. They are depending on me. Nothing like holding the future lives of children in your hands to stress you out. It's time to pull up my boot straps and really get to work. It wont be easy but as time goes on I know I will improve. I'm really going to have to depend on my Heavenly Father a lot this year! There is no way I can be successful in this without Him being by my side and reminding me of everything I learned during my education and how to put it into practice. That really truly is the only thing comforting me. The creator of these children is on my side. He knows them inside and out and can help me find ways to teach them.

On to the other areas of my life. This weekend I went back up to USU for the Homecoming game. Oh how I love Logan, Utah! It is so gorgeous and truly my second home. As most of you know I had a lot of family trials going on during my four years up there. Because of those trials I became a very different Jessica than I was when I arrived. The events in my family were so traumatic that remembering my life before them is extremely difficult, almost impossible. So in a way I feel like I was raised in Logan, and it will always hold a big place in my heart. Homecoming was great! Nothing like doing the Scotsman with thousands of people. We won which of course was awesome! I hung out with Kenzy for Saturday and Sunday. We went to Lowe's and said hi to all of my coworkers which was a blast. Love my Lowe's family! We went to Kneaders for lunch and our usual Wendy's after the game celebration. Sunday was great and interesting. We attended my old ward and it was great. Fabulous testimonies and lessons, but I kind of had an odd/good experience. While up at school I had numerous spiritual confirmations that I was exactly where Heavenly Father wanted me to be. This weekend that feeling was gone. It was sad, but also comforting. I'm no longer supposed to be at USU, even though I love and miss it so much. That time has come and gone and I am meant to be where I am working with the kids I have. Growing up is interesting.

My dear brother Braden is turning nineteen this month and will be getting his mission call on Wednesday. Sooooooo weird!!! I swear he's still three and we're having picnics in the living room. I'm so excited for him! He will be an amazing missionary and I know that he will bless the lives of others with his testimony. Please pray for him this week and the weeks to follow as he prepares!

That's all for now! Here are some pictures from my weekend! Love- Jess

 Kenz and I at the game!

 The AWESOME White Out!

Beautiful Sardine Canyon on my way up.